I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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