Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
