I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this just has baby written all over it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
