I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
