those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
