OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
