...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
