Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
