Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
