dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
