I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
