he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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