at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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