so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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