the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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