You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
