Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
