My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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