oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
