I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
