im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
