I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
