i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
