I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
