Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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