she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
