i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize