you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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