Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
