You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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