I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
