I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need to calm my uterus...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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