ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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