Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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