would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
