I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
