shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
