i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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