I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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