she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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