i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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