She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
