Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
