I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
