you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
