why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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