How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize