i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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