Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
