Christians are straight up FREAKS
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
