after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
