Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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