he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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