We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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