I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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