That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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