I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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