Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
not ubering you a puppy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
