I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
